Closeness Through Conflict


12 Contents

Closeness Through Conflict Intro

Conflict is like manure. It stinks! Nobody likes it, but it is necessary for growth.

Lesson 1: Communicate and Resolve Conflict Better

There are universal keys to successful relationships

Lesson 2: 3 Ways to Resolve Conflict

Avoiding, attacking, and affirming. What do they look like?

Lesson 3: What Avoiding, Attacking, and Affirming Look Like

Now that we’ve established the healthiest conflict resolution style (affirmer), what does that look like in real life? How can you develop these traits in yourself and in your relationships? Learn here.

Lesson 4: How to Be an Affirmer

Did you know that your body has an early-warning system? It tells you when you’re about to say or do something that you’ll regret later. Here’s how you can recognize your body’s warning signs so you can redirect instead of withdrawing or losing your temper.

Lesson 5: Stop and Calm Down

What are the most effective ways to calm down and clear your head when you’re angry? We’ll show you exactly how you can soothe or channel your anger in a healthy way.

Lesson 6: Identify the Emotion Beneath the Anger

Every single time that you are angry, you’re actually experiencing another emotion in disguise. Every. Single. Time. Learning how to identify that feeling will help you to draw your partner near instead of pushing them away.

Lesson 7: Powerful Perspective Taking

It’s hard to empathize with a person when you disagree strongly with their thinking, words, or behavior. Learning to overcome the natural arrogance that every person has will empower you to meet your partner’s needs and affirm their worth without justifying poor behavior. You might even (gasp!) change your mind.

Lesson 8: Connect Through Vulnerability

Many couples cite “poor communication” as a force driving them apart. Here you’ll build on the previous steps in order to communicate clearly, compassionately, and effectively. You can solve your problems without it turning ugly or cold. You can experience warmth, understanding, and intimacy.

Lesson 9: The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are the four behaviors which, if left unchecked, spell certain doom for your relationship. How many do you see in yours?

Lesson 10: Effects of The Four Horseman

While the Four Horsemen can be fatal to relationships, there are practical cures you can put into practice which will nip them in the bud.

Lesson 11: Cures for Defensiveness & Stonewalling

Here we finish our exploration of the cures for the Four Horsemen and finish the course strong with a look at the big picture. You don’t have to fight or drift apart. You can have your needs met.

Contents for this healing tool 12
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